Platonic Soulmates: What Are & Why We All Need One

Rishika Dange
15 Min Read
platonic soulmates

In this blog, I’ve talked about what are platonic soulmates, how to know if you already have one or more platonic soulmates in your life, how to find yours in case you don’t, and finally, how to nurture such relationships.

This blog includes multiple opinions all of which are completely objective and under no circumstances should be considered gospel.

All names, and stories shared are to help You understand the theory and reality of platonic soulmates. Any realistic resemblance is purely coincidental.

What are Platonic Soulmates?

So Adam and Evelyn were the best of friends since grade school, lived a couple of houses off each other, family friends as well, the perfect picture.

But growing up was not easy and they did get entangled once only to come out of it better.

Evelyn went to the city to pursue a career in legal and Adam stayed back in his hometown and started his agency with enough success to have a good life.

The thing is, they still hook up but leave it at that. The perfect platonic soulmates?

Maybe not. Why?

To understand that, I’ll put forward two simple questions –

  1. What is platonic love? (platonic in itself does not carry meaning in this context)
  2. What does ‘soulmate’ mean?

First up, platonic love means a no-body-only-mind relationship – to put it as simply and crudely as possible.

It’s almost like BFFs but more, where two people rely on each other and value the relationship built almost above all other relationships they might have around them.

This bonding is based on mutual respect, contextual understanding, and most importantly, shared value concepts.

The last one, shared values, is perhaps the key binding point for such relationships.

Only when two individuals share the same purview and purpose in life will they naturally engage in a platonic relationship?

Of course, worth mentioning, such relationships are beyond gender bias and context.

Now ‘what is a soulmate’.

I am sure you know this concept by now but just to lay it here relatively, soulmates are people who complement each other, and add in the missing pieces to complete the cumulative puzzle.

Now this might mean your soulmate brings out the best in you or fills in for the frailties you already have, or maybe both.

Going deeper, both platonic lovers and soulmates have a few things in common.

Firstly, both are to help you become the best version of Yourself, and by best I mean the happiest version nearing fulfillment which is often not materialistic by definition.

Secondly, both are your friends, allies, and guides. They will help you through it all and stand by you (as you stand by them).

But there are key differences. I’ll get onto that when I talk about platonic soulmates vs. romantic soulmates.

What Does Platonic Soulmate Mean?

what does platonic soulmate mean

A platonic soulmate is an individual who shares the same spiritual, moral, and mental characteristics with you and develops a deep soulful connection for a fulfilling asexual relationship.

That’s the closest I can come to defining it and even if you come across better definitions from more scholarly articles, this is the gist.

Almost like the friend in need without any strings attached.

Someone to talk to. Someone who won’t spill the beans and instead guide you with sound advice that you can take in and transform into actions.

Your platonic soulmate accepts you for who you are and who you won’t be.

We are all unique and despite the world asking so much of each of us, is there truly a need to hang a reference up front and chase it till dusk and dust?

Chances are your platonic soulmate will tell you something along these lines at one point in time or another.

So, your platonic soulmate is someone you cannot but help stay attracted to on an emotional level but with nothing between the sheets.


Because, and this is true in reality, sexual relationships auto-adjust towards compatibility equations, that is, you expect your sexual partner to do or change or adapt with you.

This is more often than not mutual and it is completely natural. You must remember that we are still governed by fundamental human nature.

To sum it up, your platonic soulmate is your angelic best friend. Value the bond. Listen and be heard. Reciprocate what you benefit from and give more value in return.

Platonic Soulmates Vs. Romantic Soulmates

platonic soulmate vs romantic soulmate

This should be simple enough. Platonic soulmates do not get intimate while romantic soulmates will.

But there’s a lot more to do this and most of it comes down to the human psyche.

The term ‘platonic’ in platonic soulmate signals the absence of romantic and sexual interactions in a relationship.

This translates into a higher spiritual and mental connection that is much more amplified.

Your platonic soulmate will understand more about you, and that too, at the same mental plane as your romantic soulmate.

Worth mentioning right here that it’s rare enough for an individual to find both romantic and platonic soulmates, for real.

But with romantic soulmates, as obvious, the relationship is more fulfilling on the material level since it involves physical manifestations of love, affection, mutual respect, and life.

Romantic soulmates are often power couples and separate alphas in their own domains.

Which is better to have?

Your platonic soulmate is your mirror mental image on a different level.

On the other hand, your romantic soulmate is the completion of the yin to your yang or vice versa.

But there’s a deeper question to ask right at this juncture and that’s right up next.

Can Platonic Soulmates Fall In Love?

can platonic soulmates fall in love

Here’s a better question. Do platonic soulmates fall in love to become romantic soulmates?

That’s a million-dollar question and honestly, there’s no single answer to this. Each of us is unique and just so, each couple is even more unique.

However, if we stick to the hypotheses of platonic and romantic soulmates, the answer is – Ideally Yes.


Well, your platonic soulmate vibrates with the same mental energy and is on the same plane as you do.

Get romantically involved and the vibrations increase multifold but they will still remain the same, again, in hypotheses.

You two will still understand each other and without jinxing the longevity of such a relationship, here’s the pro tip.

Forgive each other’s flaws and complement them to transcend towards a better version on both accounts.

But in reality, it doesn’t work that way even though we wish it could. Ross and Rachel from Friends can be a great example of this scenario.

You’re thinking why not? Why can’t just platonic soulmates engage in romantic overtures and live happily ever after?

Well by Nature, we are to have children, look after them and help them look after themselves.

The whole ambit of relationships including intimacy is to enjoy the pleasures of life and then bring new life into the world.

That in itself generates a host of responsibilities, which leads to expectations. Somewhere in between here, there’s holy matrimony too.

In all of this, it’s realistically difficult to remain a good friend throughout the failures. No parent can fail to take care of their offspring along with work and house chores.

This is where romantically platonic relationships are tested, not just in reality, but in concept.

Can one parent accept the other’s frailties if they affect the present and the future of the family?

Life is not supposed to be easy, is it?

How to Find Your Platonic Soulmate

To find your platonic soulmate, firstly you need to be You. Be the honest real version of yourself even if that involves playing a character that you want to play off as You.

The point is, your platonic soulmate is supposed to connect with you at your deepest mental depths.

For that to happen, that person needs to be able to see you for what you are and not for what you ain’t.

That’s easier than done but this really helps build character, maintain a strong set of constant values, and helps build a layered personality.

Next up, you need to resonate your mental vibrations so that it reaches out to your platonic soulmate in real time.

There are too many people around and your compatible platonic soulmate will rarely be waiting around the corner for you so feel free to express yourself in your comfort or maybe just a bit off it.

If you’re thinking = “How will I know if I’ve found my probably platonic soulmate?”, here’s a way to find out.

List your top 15 value pointers, like binary choices we often make in different scenarios.

How do you react to praise?

To criticism?

To flattery?


how do you take care of negative scenarios? How to work through tough times? Actions in these scenarios define our fundamental’ states and characteristics.

In essence, your platonic soulmate’s responses and purview should typically match these with more than 90% accuracy.

Get started on your list.

Push in these questions and if they match up you’re automatically in conversation to find out if the rest match up too!

Do Platonic Soulmates Really Exist?

do platonic soulmates really exists

Harry Potter and Hermione Granger were platonic soulmates, weren’t they?

I believe they are depicted in just that manner although the fans would rather have more.

But it is how it is and it’s amazingly accurate since this is exactly how most platonic soulmates exist.

Yes, platonic soulmates exist and more often, they are right around us as our closest friends or allies or even cousins whom you already have established relationships with and know pretty closely.

Double back on how to find your platonic soulmate and you’ll understand that our relationships are often bound by limitations to where they are and how they exist.

So your cousin is really someone who’s known you and your family since you both were kids and there’s a high chance you even share the same cultural background. Might he/she be your platonic soulmate? Why not?

But it’s not that simple or that easy.

‘Platonic’ is a high-level concept that reaches into multiple mental layers and depths.

For you to find your platonic soulmate, the other person needs to be not just perfectly tuned to you but also empathize with you without losing their core values and beliefs. Confusing?

Let me explain.

Suppose you’re a go-getter and whatever you do comes out well enough. Does your platonic soulmate have the same traits?


But wouldn’t that lead to competition? Likely. So where does the relationship stand now?

The answer to this dilemma is simple. Just because your platonic soulmate understands you and accepts you for who you are does not mean that they’re supposed to be a clone.

They might have a different discourse, life path, and eventually a different destiny.

Yet, what makes that person your platonic soulmate is that he/she understands you and can guide you toward your better version, through your darkness and confusion towards the light, to tell you not to go gently into that good night.


Ultimately, the concept of a ‘platonic soulmate’ exists. There’s a high chance you may have already met yours in some capacity or at some point in time.

What you need to do is find out what’s missed or stay on the lookout instead if you’re sure you’re yet to meet your platonic soulmate.

Stay true to your heart and your soul. Enjoy the little details and eye twitches or look out for angel numbers for guidance.

Finally, understand that you are the platonic soulmate to your platonic soulmate too. Read that again. Live happily.

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